När jag skrev i förra inlägget om våra ljusa sommarnätter, kom jag att tänka på nåt jag skrev i våras.
Vintern vi hade var ju lång och hård, till och med i annars så regniga Göteborg. Och även om man är en van nordbo som överlever ett halvår utan något direkt solljus, så är det något visst när ljuset återvänder. Det var fint att läsa om det nu, att mitt i den fortfarande klibbiga hettan bli påmind om hur mycket jag längtade efter ljus och grönska för bara några få månader sedan.
Jag postar texten, i fall om att nån vill läsa. Den är på engelska, men förhoppningsvis begriplig. Snacka om osvensk, haha.
Finally. Door locked, child in outdoor clothes, shoes on. We were going out.
The alluring spring light had summoned me to come out to play even since I woke up. The light had shone strong through my large living room windows, the light from the rising spring sun. The sky that it grazed was painted in pink, pink all above the forest. The rest of the sky was grand, light blue and ever so inviting.
No one else was up, not even the child. It was just me. I stood alone to solemnly greet the light, as if it was the first time I saw it since September. My body, my eyes, had grown so used to the darkness, used to wake up as if in the middle of the might and yet wake up to start the day. But not today. Today the sun woke up before me. How could I possibly stay indoors?
The air outside was cool and I drank greedy, filling my lungs. I gazed up and fed my hungry soul with what had been absent for too long – a heaven that uplifted my spirit, instead of weighing it down. I pushed the stroller in front of me, walking up the small hill, wishing I could just continue upwards till I was free in the air, flying, floating, being. It was more than I could take in.
It was spring. I could see grass, more grass than snow even. I took of my mittens, getting warm from pushing the stroller. To the playground we went, the girl in the stroller anxious to fly too.
Back and fro, back and fro she flew. I pushed the swing as hard as her smile told me to. Back and fro, back and fro. While my feet stood still on the never changing ground, my mind followed the swing to another place. A place without time, without boundaries. A place of light and air and dreams. Dazzling white and grey, brown clouds around me, glowing blue between. Glimmering, glittering light, nothing seen of darkness, nothing felt that was not of good. Freedom, brightness, being able to breath.
A voice. Someone called a name that seemed familiar. Curtain down, floating mind sent back to ground. Along the road other women came. More strollers, more children.
“So here you are! We have been looking for you.” My head slowly nodding.
But the answer was no. No, it was not there I was. Far from it.
Vintern vi hade var ju lång och hård, till och med i annars så regniga Göteborg. Och även om man är en van nordbo som överlever ett halvår utan något direkt solljus, så är det något visst när ljuset återvänder. Det var fint att läsa om det nu, att mitt i den fortfarande klibbiga hettan bli påmind om hur mycket jag längtade efter ljus och grönska för bara några få månader sedan.
Jag postar texten, i fall om att nån vill läsa. Den är på engelska, men förhoppningsvis begriplig. Snacka om osvensk, haha.
Finally. Door locked, child in outdoor clothes, shoes on. We were going out.
The alluring spring light had summoned me to come out to play even since I woke up. The light had shone strong through my large living room windows, the light from the rising spring sun. The sky that it grazed was painted in pink, pink all above the forest. The rest of the sky was grand, light blue and ever so inviting.
No one else was up, not even the child. It was just me. I stood alone to solemnly greet the light, as if it was the first time I saw it since September. My body, my eyes, had grown so used to the darkness, used to wake up as if in the middle of the might and yet wake up to start the day. But not today. Today the sun woke up before me. How could I possibly stay indoors?
The air outside was cool and I drank greedy, filling my lungs. I gazed up and fed my hungry soul with what had been absent for too long – a heaven that uplifted my spirit, instead of weighing it down. I pushed the stroller in front of me, walking up the small hill, wishing I could just continue upwards till I was free in the air, flying, floating, being. It was more than I could take in.
It was spring. I could see grass, more grass than snow even. I took of my mittens, getting warm from pushing the stroller. To the playground we went, the girl in the stroller anxious to fly too.
Back and fro, back and fro she flew. I pushed the swing as hard as her smile told me to. Back and fro, back and fro. While my feet stood still on the never changing ground, my mind followed the swing to another place. A place without time, without boundaries. A place of light and air and dreams. Dazzling white and grey, brown clouds around me, glowing blue between. Glimmering, glittering light, nothing seen of darkness, nothing felt that was not of good. Freedom, brightness, being able to breath.
A voice. Someone called a name that seemed familiar. Curtain down, floating mind sent back to ground. Along the road other women came. More strollers, more children.
“So here you are! We have been looking for you.” My head slowly nodding.
But the answer was no. No, it was not there I was. Far from it.
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